[x]

Does that make me Different?I wear make up. Does that make me fake?
I cry. Does that make me emo?
I have male friends. Does that make me slutty?
I smile a lot. Does that make me weird?
I laugh loud. Does that make me preppy?
I have anxiety. Does that make me a freak?
I have Bipolar Disorder. Does that make me abnormal?
I respect people. I change for me, and only me. I have a past, but I know I have a future.
Does that make me different?
Maybe.
But at least it makes me
Me.

FrostbiteNumbness
I can’t feel my toes and at first I think
It’s just my toes.
I can cover them up.
I can warm them.

It spreads, like fire,
Like ice.
I glance away for a second, it seems, and my feet are cold
Pat –pat
That’s funny, I didn’t feel that
Maybe I’ll cover them up too
I’ll warm them up.

I’ll take a nap
Maybe a short rest will make it all better, warm them
Up…
What’s that? How long has it been?
My legs… are you still mine..
Why has my breath left me, short?
Has everything but deserted me?

What about you, are you still here?
Are you still with me?
Hello?
And before I can say goodbye, I think my thoughts are leaving me too –

Sleeping Beautyshe’s in love with a character who
never existed but in the labyrinth of her head:
a patchwork composition of beautiful, lengthy words
she’d heard in her catatonic state; coma living
day in and day out, reliant on the salvation
of a man made of foreign wishing
and imperfection and necessity – an ignorance
of the less than ideal perception of self she’d
come to fear, absention stained romantic to the point
where daydreams were a standard for survival

(real living is for the purposeful of heart,
he loves her in her sleep)

UneditedWe cry.
We scream.
We fight for our dream.

We scream.
We cry.
We're just waiting to die.

The same emotions
with a different drive.
Sometimes dead, sometimes alive.

The same in one way,
different in another
brother and sister, sister and brother.

So close in feeling,
so different in the end.
Falling apart, or finally on the mend?

Which am I?
Will I ever know?
Fighting to stay or ready to go?

Maybe I'm both,
in some impossible way.
Emotions oddly mixed everyday.

Wouldn't surprise.
I'm such a freak.
Excuse me, I laugh, I should call it "unique"

Happily AloneHonesty,
She does not have,
Personalities,
She has many of them.

A million shields,
a million personalities,
She's always changing,
to fit every person around her.

If one were to ask why,
she would answer with,
I will never reveal my weaknesses,
because she's evil.

She hates everyone,
stupider than her is barely tolerable,
smarter than her is too scary,
She hates it all.

She leaves the world behind,
To one she has dreamt of,
No color,
nobody else.

Then,
she will smile,
why,
because she is truly happy alone.

She is not evil,
She does not hate you,
She is not dishonest,
She simply wants to be alone.

lifelinesI fear the sound of sparrows
and the density of leaves
against dew-muffled blades
of grass,

and I'm drowning
in the sky.

My skin has learned how
to peel itself off
without causing a commotion
in my marrows or
even show the slightest hint
of pain,
and my heart has learned how
to hush the stars in their wake
and keep it all a secret.

There's a sea in my mouth
and I can't swim.

There are lifelines
cast like these and it will
all end with the same tragedy.

We are the King and Queen of Broken DreamsStanding still in a mine field, staring at all we have left.
We were so young, we didn’t stop to think.
Now we’re in a car crash, teetering on the brink.
If you were to leave me now, I don’t know what I’d do.

It was a whirl wind romance,
A light when all was black, a spark of something when all was bleak.
You swept me off my feet and made me feel brand new.
I thought we could live forever and I’m certain you did to.

We built a house without foundations
And now we’re falling down,
Everything’s crumbling around us, time slipping through out fingertips.
People used to walk past us but they were to drunk to see,
That our lives are coming apart around us, there is no light as far as we can see.

There was no fire to start with,
Just two broken things, the world had left behind.
The casualties of other people’s dreams of power, money and control,
Spat out onto the curb to rot away and die.
We never stood a chance or so

of seafoam thronesFrom Atlas’ hands she wept to me,
atop Africas and South Atlantics;

this is one situation unaffected by
ember eyes and windy lashes
(it has no anatomy).

You are sparrows stranded
in tiny crevices and cliffside love,
though you rebuke flight
in the fear of chipping feathers.

So what do you do?

You reach for my soul,
coveting flight with shaking
dainty arms…

and perhaps I’ll let you:
With flytrap lips and
glass shaped hips…
you are unfit for anything but
sight.

(But beauty isn’t everything)

Falling off the EdgeDo you know what it feels like?
To nearly fall off the edge,
but not quite...
just so that you're dangling;
clinging for your worthless life
lest it fall into the sea of loneliness.
Your callused, pink fingers turning
to a shade of purplish-red of pain
as it does it best to hold on.

Splash.

In the sea of loneliness,
everything is crisp, translucent.
There is nothing around you,
you are alone...
unlike other people,
you have no one
clamouring to save you;
you have no one
diving in to get you out.

There is no point
screaming for help,
you will only waste
the little time and air you have left.
You only have the darkness
of the sea envelop

PerfectEver had the feeling where you can't stop looking at a picture?
Your gorgeous face makes me smile
Go weak at the knees
Makes me giggle like a little girl

Those morning texts
All day conversations
Random silly things like that
Make me smile

I see the led light flash the colours I've set for when I get a message from you
My heart flutters
My cheeks flush
I go deaf to the world when I'm reading a message from you

If your down
I'm always there for you
I know you don't want to worry me
I know you want me to smile
But I'm always here for you
No matter how you feel
I'd prefer to help
Than for you to be down

Your gorgeous eyes
Are mesmerising
You

weight of the worldand suddenly--
it was like the world decided that
it didn't want to carry its burden any longer,
so it shifted the weight
into the hollows of my bones
and told me that
it was my problem now.

Her SideTomorrow she'll be gone,
but what can you say?
Nothing can help her.
The pain won't go away.

But she would've stopped,
you could've said no.
That's what she wanted,
someone to say don't go.

That someone wanted her,
or at least would try.
That someone would grieve
if she were to die.

But you just stared,
nodding your head,
and she realized the truth
with a feeling of dread.

No one wanted her.
No one cared.
Not even you,
with the the love you shared.

So she said good-bye,
and you watched her leave.
She may have had the rope,
but now you can't breathe.

A Charmed LifeDoll-faced men and sinkholes, ancient tombstones
Leaves piled ankle-deep, falling down
Old wells, old graves, old friends lost
Pirate adventures in Neverland
Don't go into that barn

Ponchoboy and Rangergirl rise from the ashes
From the cold river, from afar
Remember before they were born, how they
Held hands and jumped into the world
Don't go into that school

Ladybugs, pennies, notes from the dead sun eclipse
Scrape the inside of your skull for clues
All the old dreams are still there, petrified
You are a rock of ages gibbering
Don't go into that factory

Why don't you kill yourself?“Why don’t you kill yourself?”
Is the voice that often pops in my head
To remind me I’d be better off dead.
As I sit in my two story house
I’m always alone and filled with doubt.
I take medications I don’t know why
These thoughts constantly go through my mind.
I remind myself I have friends who care
And my parents, well, try to be there.
Some would think I’m being over dramatic
Others will think these thoughts could only come from an addict
Or a psycho.
As I weigh the pros and cons
The commercials shut off, the main program goes on
So I turn my mind off and let the show play
And hope that I can be happy one day.

You Are BlindYou see a picture.
A girl with a smile on her face.

She looks beautiful.
She wasn't going anyway fancy.
But she wore her black make up.
And her brand new top.

But that isn't what I see...

Look a little closer...
Can't you see the tears that have just been wiped away?

Look a little closer...
Can't you see her right fist clenched,
Fumbling for her over strap bag?

Look a little closer...
Can't you see the left hand grip her long sleeve for dear life?

Look a little closer...
Can't you see her mind is running with thoughts tonight?

Look a little closer...
And maybe you'd have seen the warning signs....

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StillYou were
and all at once
you were not
More than a thought
not quite a truth
but you were real enough
to feel
to feed
to need me
always next to my heart
you touched me
and I loved you

I brought you out
of nothing into
life and never questioned
should you be mine,
it was always
what it was
and you held me in your hands
your tiny hands
as I held you in my body

How can it be that
you were here one moment
a piece of me
a part of my body
connected to my heart
and in a moment
I felt you slip away
and I knew
that you were gone
and I would never
know the light of your eyes

A silent scream
a deafening crack
of somethi

HonestyOnce and for all
you are filling
the space that seperates
our lips
our bodies
it is no more
this line between us
this place in time
that never lived- never died
never began or ended
We are seamless
a sphere of endless possibility lost
to infinite space
infinite reason why
enough is never enough
can never be enough

You are through me
entering my body through this
secret opening
you've found in my eyes
you've found it in my lips
I succumb to you
regretting only
that this moment must end
must pass on into
a new morning
a day in which we cannot meet
we cannot ever be
this thing again that we've become
for one moment

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[x]

You Have

by ~mizzamandaxmarie, Dec 2, 2011, 9:44:38 PM
Literature / Poetry / Emotional / Free Verse

Do you ever want to die
just because of a word
or two
spoken from the mouth
of a human being
Another soul
imperfect and tainted
with life and the scars thereof
another soul caught
in the same trap as any
walking through shadows
searching for light
searching for the crack in the door
to let in a streak of the sun
thirsty for change and truth
You have undone me

All you ever needed
to do was speak that single word
gaze in that single way
that way that sets my heart to
temperatures fit for melting
temperatures fit for burning
for change from life to smoldering
ashes and death
You have changed my mind

I feel this thing behind my eyes
cold and wet
with the dew of your anger
in the morning, it settles
upon my lashes
like grass uncut and forgotten
like a thing left to wither
in the sun, but deprived
of its warmth
I have not a single notion
of why this fire burns
in such a way so warm
and yet so very cold
You have forgotten my heart

Pain is new and old
and sweet and bitter
and I have never seen
a sun rising so low
so lacking in beauty
so lacking in the thing that
drives me to want this
sweet life that
pours out of your hands like
wine that I cannot find
I cannot find enough to acheive
intoxication
You have denied me this thing

Why do I want you
who reduces me to pieces
of what I have been and evolved beyond
Why do I need this feeling
this victimization, this
release of control and acceptance
of chains and defeat
Why do I long to have your
ever present dominance
ever present in my existence
to teach me that I am worthless
again
You have shown me
that I am worthless

I will continue
until it is finished
until I feel that it is complete
until I find that you are not mine
that this illusion has invaded my every sense
and understanding
You have brought me discontent
You have ruined this perfect image of who I wanted
you to be
You have changed me in some
small way
perhaps larger than I can admit
You have wounded
my pride, my heart, my mind
You have placed shackles upon
some piece of me that I cannot define
I wish to be free of you
I wish to be free

Please, release me...

You Haveby ~mizzamandaxmarie

Literature / Poetry / Emotional / Free Verse

This is also what you do to me...

love 1 1

~~joy 0 0~~

~~wow 0 0~~

~~mad 0 0~~

~~sad 0 0~~

~~fear 0 0~~

~~neutral 0 0~~

~syrynsmyth Apr 21, 2012

Sometimes a person is in a certain place emotionally and then by random - serendipitously, I suppose - they come across something that really strikes a chord. It expresses something inside that the person could not. It speaks to that person.

I think that just happened to me. So, thanks.

~mizzamandaxmarie May 23, 2012 Hobbyist Artist

That is the biggest compliment that you can give me. You're so very welcome and thank you as well.

~CupHalfFull Dec 5, 2011

Holy fuck that's awesome.

~mizzamandaxmarie Dec 5, 2011 Hobbyist Artist

Thanks alot

I really appreciate it. It's very real for me.

~CupHalfFull Dec 6, 2011

I can feel that through your expressions... very powerful, and thank you for sharing

*Yield2Desire Dec 3, 2011

Bautiful and powerful..

*Yield2Desire Dec 3, 2011

*Beautiful

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